Qu'est-ce que l'amour?
by Les milles et une nuits
Summary: She never fell in love before, and she had to accept that feeling, even if she did not want it...for now. Futa story. Don't like, don't read. OOC for Himeko.
1. Chapter 1

I decided to share the beginning of a history, I continue if it asked. Perhaps futa. English is not my native language.

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Qu'est **-** ce que l'amour **? (What is love?)**

 **1: Strange meeting.**

 **POV Himeko**

I did not understand why I had to be part of the student council. I'm such a liar, I knew perfectly the reason, and I was just trying to find some excuses to not go. Because I had no club outside the classroom activity, except to do nothing, which was not the case, I went to the library to devour books, and my main teacher did not seem to appreciate my 'laziness', as he called it so nicely, also, I'm lucky, they were missing members in this group, I was appointed, forced to participate. Moreover, it was mandatory to belong to a group, and unfortunately for my entourage and myself, I had two left feet and hands, so I was very clumsy ... I did not prefer to do sports or crafts. As for the theatre club, I forgot to say I was a sickly shy; I could talk normally with people, but not in front of the spectators, that was impossible, or I could puke. I had so many flaws, it was scary. And maybe the student council was not a bad opportunity? And I would not kill someone with my clumsiness? No ... the joke was not even funny ... I walked with difficulty to the place, I noted on a piece of paper a sort of map. I picked from my pocket, and the paper flew, and I began to pursue it because there was no way I found my way into this wooded maze. It stopped in a bush, and I grabbed it and I did my best to catch my heavy breath. Then I heard words that petrified me:

"Himemiya-sama, it's been a while since I observe you from afar, and I've always admired you, you are smart, beautiful, and intelligent, this admiration I had for you had grown into love. I wonder if you would go out with me." A student questioned, I saw he was wearing a uniform of the third year, he bowed before the girl he liked, and I remained silent, watching the scene. I could not leave unless I crawled quietly on the floor, but I will leave my blood on the floor, I had enough scars on my body. And I would certainly make a monster sound, there were branches on my way, I'm really unlucky, this situation only happened to me. So I hid immediately behind a bush, I do not want to interrupt them, it was not right to interrupt a romantic statement, but to watch it or in my case to listen it, it was not better. But I had no choice, I only had to wait.

"I'm sorry, but I can not accept your feelings." The young woman replied and she seemed sincere.

"I know, someone like me who had not the same social status as you, I can not compare myself to you, or even hope to be with you. I am nothing. "

"I do not say that, I can not go out with you because I don't want to go out with anyone, I'm not interested to be with someone." These words echoed in my mind, but especially the response, the student did not seem to be hurt, he even thanked him for her frankness, and I nibbled my lower lip, I'd love to be able to express as well my feelings. I can't deny, I was extremely honest, and it was the worst of my faults because I hurt others with my words and my sincerity, so I constantly took my distance from others. And my phone rang, and I was startled, I probably alerted Himemiya because she asked who was there. I hardly had the choice to reveal my presence. Fortunately, she was now alone.

"I'm so sorry, I did not want to be indiscreet, or even listening, I was looking for this piece of paper which was to show me where the student council was, because it was impossible to find, and there was nobody here, then it flew into the bush, then I noticed that someone confess, and it did not to be rude and interrupt, so I hid myself to leave you both alone. And now, my phone rang ... and it is again a spamming ..." I watched my interlocutor who was laughing; I do not know if I should take it well, but I was wrong all the way, then I forced a smile on my lips.

"Do not worry, it was not my first confession, and no harm is done. If you want I can show you the council building."

" Really? It's great, thank you." I exulted with joy, I grabbed the hand my interlocutor, she looked at me with a puzzled face, and I did not understand the change of reaction, and I pulled my hand from her. "Did I said or do something funny?"It often happened to me, so I suspected the answer, a yes.

"No, it's just that I'm not used to seeing someone as enthusiastic as you." I blushed with shame, but I put aside that feeling, and I followed my new guide. We arrived in a large building, rather dated, but that was its charm.

"So you're the new student so that will be part of the student council?" Himemiya asked me then I confirmed.

"Yes, it's me. I forgot to introduce myself, I am Himeko Kurusugawa. And you are? "Again, I noticed obvious astonishment of my interlocutor.

"So delighted to have you among us, I am Himemiya Chikane, the seito-kaichou." I watched incredulously at her, and I remembered who was this person, the most popular student and wealthy among us. I should not have to talk to her as if she were anyone. I winced at my stupidity, and I knew it would not the last mistake I will make.


	2. Chapter 2

Wow, I'm surprised that you like that story. I'm glad. Yes, the fandom is not dead!

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Qu'est **-** ce que l'amour ? **(What is love?)**

 **2: Strange feeling.**

 _ **POV Chikane**_

I silently watched the blonde, she observed around the council room, she was speechless, everybody had the same reaction as her, but less expressive, she watched to the window, my favorite spot, and she opened the windows.

"Wow! It's beautiful." And then she turned towards me with a huge and bright smile, it was the first time I felt that it was a genuine smile, and not because of my rank or name. Next, she was preparing tea, and she brought me a cup while I thanked for her attention. We sat, not knowing what to do or say.

"You're in second grade?" The blonde answered yes, and we were engulfed in silence, it was not embarrassing, but soothing.

"Chikane-chan, can I ask you a question? I know we barely know each other…but I feel…you are the perfect person to answer." I was again surprised by her candor and her way of talking to me, the familiarity was unknown to me, it was as if I was anyone, a friend, a comrade, and not only a rich person with power, I was like everybody else. She must have felt my confusion because she added: "I can't call you that way?"

"No. Yes, you can. I mean, yes you can call me Chikane, and I can call you Himeko?" The named nodded andI felt for the first time the nervousness invaded my body and mind, I did not have the habit of been so open to someone I had just met. And especially I don't use such familiarity, even with my childhood friend and my parents; I was using the formal address.

"What do you want to ask me?" Himeko seemed to seek the appropriate words, I saw her fighting with herself; and I could not help but smile, she was so lovely, and she was really beautiful, then she suddenly said these words when I startled out of my dreaming state:

"Chikane-chan ... you said it did not interest you to go out with someone ... why?" I began to think about this question, we had already asked me once before, and most people assumed that people could not fill my desires because I was perfect and I deserve the best, and some of my suitors could not match me, whether my intelligence, my athletic ability, and I was good at art, dance and song, everything. Others were afraid of me, yet I was far from perfect...

"I do not know because I've never felt this feeling ... I do not know how to explain ..."

"That little spark? This nervousness? This furious beat the others call so easily when they talk about the one they love? "I watched my interlocutor, she was formulated exactly what I was feeling, and she sighed:

"I'm like you ... it was the service that I wanted to ask you ... I ... am ... not very good to express my feelings ... for some reason I can not reveal for now ... and I know a boy for more than two years. He told me that he likes me, and I- "

"You do know how to reject him without hurting his feelings?" I inquired while the blonde bit the inside of her lip.

"There is that, at first, I wanted to accept his feelings, and go out with him, but it would be unfair not to respond sincerely to his love ... so I made him wait for a reply for several days, and he'll come to me in the late afternoon to finally have my answer ... " I watched Himeko, I had the picture of me in front of me. Although I seemed to be popular, I have not always been so. In my childhood I did not exist, I was invisible, no one seemed to see me, I had average grades, I did not have any friends, and I changed with a lot of work on myself even. However, I never revealed my true self to anyone, I did not trust them. I was afraid of being judged again, to find myself in that past that I disliked. I never wanted to be alone. However, with Kurusugawa, I felt that it was different, she would not judge me ... but no, I was not let down my guard because of her innocent appearance, and she could put me in danger.

"You do not need to pay attention to what you're gonna say, the most important is to say what you feel. Use nice words to spare the other will only hurt him more. Honesty is the best option in your situation, and if he really loves you, he will know that you do not make fun of him, that you cared. And I said that but I had never been the one who was in love. I am not the right person to give some advice about love. I do not know this feeling. Sorry to make you waste your time…" I did not expect what is to follow, I was engulfed in a hug ... I was shaking; it was the first time someone gave me a hug. I did not know what to do; I felt a hand gently stroking the back of my head. And boom ... I felt what I thought was nonexistent in my chest, my heart. I did not know what was happening and I was trying to find excuses for this reaction. Perhaps, the surprise of this proximity.

"You know, me too ... I feel strange ... not normal ... I can not fall in love, to feel love towards a person, to be attracted to someone ... when everyone seems to be beaming with someone else ... but I do not feel anything at all. I thought I was a monster or the only one to live that way. But you prove me that I was wrong, and I am relieved not to feel alone in this situation. So I perfectly understand you Chikane-chan Thank you for telling me all these things." I was going to argue something, but I was beaten by Himeko's phone, she apologized and walked away from me to take the call. I felt empty, and I could not help but touch where she put her arms. And I watched from afar as she seemed to discuss with the boy she spoke before. She returns in my direction, she apologized again, but she had to see who had called her. She smiled at me, and she thanked me again for my help. I had no time to react that she was gone.

"Chikane?" I turned at the mention of my name, and I saw my friend Otoha. She seemed surprised at my reaction and then she said:

"Is everything alright? You're red. Are you sick? You want us to go to the infirmary?"

"I'm fine." I tried to reassure her or perhaps myself while I had the impression that everything was wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the wait, I was not sure how to continue, and I had this idea. Also, thank you so much for the review and favourite.

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Qu'est-ce que l'amour? **(What is love?)**

 **2 : Strange behaviour.**

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 **PDV Himeko**

It was weird, or was I? But I was relieved that Takumi was not angry with me when I rejected his love for me. Of course, I did not want he hated me. It was not I cared about him…I did know how to explain it, it was complicated. And ,I was even surprised with his reaction, he was grateful with my sincerity, that I did not love him back. He said thank you to me. Why?Because I was honest? Really? I did not know. If I was him, I will be upset or angry...I was not sure…nevertheless, a problem that disappeared, and I was glad. I needed to thank Chikane for her good advice without her help, I was totally lost.

Because I was someone serious, I decided to go back to the student council (also, I let my bag and everything was inside, my books, keys, money, phone…my life..) when I approached the room, I heard something. Curious, I listened more carefully. Was it some music… a violin or something like that? I was not sure...I was not an expert, even though I knew nothing, the music made me shiver. I had never experienced such emotion. I crouched against the wall to make the most of this continuous stream. The air of melancholy was taking over me completely. At first, it was the softness; it was slow…like a wind, I was sunny, the summer, and a light raining pouring on my face, sweet and delicious. I closed my eyes. The coldness suddenly made it movement, like a storm. It grew suddenly all quiet to such a rage, an outburst, a fury that kept growing more and more. It was as if someone was screaming for help inside a strong storm, and nobody could call to his calling, there was such need. Then it was the fire, the furious exploding as if the person had finally released her pain. I also felt his pain, as if I perfectly understood that this feeling of rejection and loneliness. Yes, I understood it…more than anyone. And it was over… I opened my eyes, and tears escaped. I was shocked. I do not know how I easily describe much and so vividly, but I felt like watch a show. I understood everything that was telling me the musician. He was alone, and he hated it. He played that everything was fine. But he was not. I wanted to escape, but he did not how…

I needed to see who was playing that beautiful song that upset me so much. When I opened the door, a loud explosion startled me. Himemiya was the one who played the melody, and it was with a violin. But the instrument was broken in pieces. She had the upper part on her hand and the other part had broken out against the desk. She did it on purpose. She kept shaking of frustration and probably anger.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" She spat against her teeth. I did not if she frustrated to show this way her anger, and there was another explanation for her behaviour. And when I saw her hand still holding the rest of the violin was covered in blood. Shocked, I rushed to the brunette. I forgot the situation, that she did not see me.

"Chikane? Are you alright?" It was a stupid question. She was not fine, she was very pale. And the way she looked at me as I was crazy, did not mind me. I tried to find a handkerchief… but I did not have when I needed it. I pulled the wood unbecoming of her grasp, she felt numb as if she could not react to her surroundings. She did not expect that there will be a witnessed. But I was not the kind of person who speaks of others or their privacy; it was their businesses, not mine. I headed to my bag and I was looking for any garment, and I found my white gym shirt. It was for this afternoon, but I did not like the sport, so it would have a better utility now, than later. I watched the injured hand, a long and ugly brownish cut invaded along the palm. And the blood was just flowing, I should stop to contemplate and cover the wound. And I did it, I used some pressure. The brunette whistled in pain, I sympathized with her pain. I was trying to tie the t-shirt without hurting the Seito-Kaichou. It was better to go to the hospital as if she heard my sentence, she said dryly:

"I won't go to the hospital! So leave me alone. And forget what you see or I will destroy your life and you. And I have the power, I have the money. I have everything." I glared at her, such a child. I was not afraid of her or her name, perhaps I had to be careful because I did not know who she really was and if his family was so powerful... And she seemed to understand I did not care about her threats. She smiled and laughed.

"You are something Himeko." Was that a compliment or a criticism? I did not have a clue.

"Perhaps. You are injured. And you continue to bleed. You will faint, you are very white. And if you could not use correctly your hand anymore?"

"It's not your business, so go away."

"No." I also was stubborn.

"Yes!" She tried to push me away, but she stumbled because of her weakness, and I managed to catch her before her fall. And we fell both on the floor. My back was sore, and I observed Chikane who was snuggled against me. And I began to feel something, it was poking against my leg ... it was weird. It was not hard, like keys, or a wallet. How could I described it. Was it a little soft without being too much? Ok, my explanation was very...very...bad... The brunette jumped, she was blushing, and she seemed to be embarrassed. She blushed slightly.

"You!" She growled. I was afraid she will slap me. She was furious. Really furious. She wanted to add something, but she stopped herself. Instead of been angry, she ran away before I could say anything.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Thank you so much for your comment. Also, I won't change the rating for this ff, but my next story will be rating M, with a lot of sexy and sweet moments._**

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Qu'est-ce que l'amour? **(What is love?)**

 **3 : Problems.**

 **POV Chikane:**

I hated to be this way, I felt I was a freak or my body was abnormal. How could I...my body react this way with Himeko? My penis was throbbing hard; I pushed it with my hands, even if it was hurting me. Did she notice it or not? If that was the case, she would be disgust or she would scream I was a monster. I was so ashamed of myself and afraid. I showed another part of myself that anyone ever sees. For others, I was strong, perfect; I was popular, contrary to my past self. I did not want to go back after all sacrifices I had to endure to change. I was nobody, except the girl with money. They laughed at me; I was given nicknames because of jealousy of my name. I would not go back

I tried to run so fast, to forget everything. I just hoped nobody see me. I took my breath, and I stopped running away from my life, my problems…and everything that exploded…because of that violin Otoha brought me…some bad and hurtful memories from my past life appeared, and my conversation this morning with my father had everything poisoned.

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 **Flash-back.**

Alone, I was taking my breakfast outside, in the garden. The weather was nice. I drank my cup of coffee, and I saw my father. He seemed preoccupied. I knew there were two reasons when a frown appeared to his face. One, it was his business, he worked hard for both of us, and his company took a lot of time, but he always with me for three meals of the day. I was always grateful, je was here. And the other problem was family. That's not happened often. So I imagined it was my first idea.

"Father, are you alright? Something matters?" I asked worried, I knew he won't share his problems, he did not want to bother me, but I did not care. I wanted to help in my own way, and he accepted. He sat in front of me. He seemed to found his words, he even held my hand. It was unusual, it was not we were not close, but we did not show so easily our feelings.

"Chikane…my daughter; I don't want to bother you with this, but I have no other choice."

"You know, you could tell me everything. I'm not a child anymore."

"I know. It just…I did not want to hurt you."

"You won't, so tell me what's going?" I urged, more and more anxious.

"Your mother." I almost broke my cup of coffee. I overthrew the content of my cup on the table, I thought I heard wrong, or should I say, I do not want to hear the next.

"What about that woman. Is she dead? When?" I answered coldly. I just questioned to be polite. I felt pain, but less than I imagined.

"Chikane! Don't be like this, she is your mother. Even if even if it has done wrong in the past, she is still your mother, I will not prevent to see her."

"No, you are wrong father, that person is not my mother. I don't have any relationship, unfortunately our blood. You are the only family I have. She abandoned us without giving any explanation; she left with your brother, my uncle. She never contacted us for over ten years and I don't regret it, our life is fine without her. So she is nobody for me. I do not want to talk about her. I have no mother, but just an awesome father." I wanted to add that she was not a good mother. She never be. Because of her… I can't bear to play violin, although previously I loved to play, it was fun. But not now, not after what she had done, she was horrible...and I was not her perfect daughter, she always said it. I was not what she wanted; I played the violin as she wished, because she was a fabulous player. I do not excelled in all the fields, and criticized again and again. Also, more important than me, she betrayed in worst way my father and me. I will never forgive her even if she begged on her knees my forgiveness.

"She will move again to Mahoroba." I could not bear anymore. I was fed up this conversation. She was dead for me, why did she come back?

"How dare she? Why? Why now? I don't want to see. Never! I prefer leave the country than to stay here." _I w_ as _immature, but I did not mind._

"Chikane."

"No father. I don't want to meet her. So if I see her, tell her she will be only a stranger for me. I will simply greet her, unless I can avoid it, but there will be nothing more. Sorry father, but I have to go to school. I'm already late." I did not let him continue, I simply fled, and I hated to be weak. But I did not want to cried, or insulted that person.

 **End of Flash-back.**

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I sat on a bench, I was alone in a park, and I watched my mummified hand. I laughted. It was ugly. It was the first time someone was so kind with me without something on her mind, or I supposed she was. I did not have friends, or there were my fans. Otoha, I did know if I could call her a friend. We know each other since childhood; she is the daughter of our cook. She was more a rival; she was always trying to challenge me, either at school or sports. And she was my helper with my duty of seito kaichou, she was also in my class. What should I do? Talking to Himeko? Yes, she knew too much, I can't let her destroy what I created. Firstly I needed to calm myself, after, I will found her. Damn, the bell just rang. The school was over.


	5. Chapter 5

**4: Misunderstanding or not?**

 **PDV Chikane.**

Yesterday, I tried to find Himeko, but I found her nowhere. It made me very anxious, I was afraid she opened her mouth. I had to wait the next day. This night, I tried to forget about my mother. But I could not. Some bad memories appeared in my dreams. I could not sleep all night. I did not want that person appeared again in my life…

The next morning, I could not eat, and my father tried to speak with me, but again, I ran away. I was a coward.

When I arrived at school, there was a lot of glance in my direction. I felt ill at ease, there were some whispers. I tried to listen carefully. And I heard…'do you it's true?'' I don't know'…'it's possible we don't know' 'there are a lot of secrets…' 'we don't know her…' 'shh'

I clenched my fists. Himeko was so dead! She said she won't tell anyone about what happened yesterday. She will pay! I will make her life a real Hell. I had more power that she imagined. My father was a friend of the director of this school. I can make her transfer, or I could even ask my fans to… bother her a bit until she implored my forgiveness? No, I was not so mean…, I would resolve myself, my own problems.

I tried to found her classroom, and more looks were on my direction. I smiled as if I was not hurt, but deep inside, I was terrorized, I wanted to cry, and shouted 'f*ck you'. But I can't escape this time. I knew she was in second year, her uniform was orange, white were first year and third year like me was red.

* * *

Finally, with some luck I found her, she was with her friend. But I did not care about to bother them. I was just to her side. I tried not to openly show my anger, with my most calm voice, I said:

"Himeko, I'm sorry to bother you, and your friend. But could we talk a moment? That's won't be long. It's very important." The latter looked at me; she did not show any emotion. And inside, I was burning. Did she not feel guilty about all happened to me?!

"Ah, I'm sorry. Perhaps later, my teacher will come soon." I smiled coldly, did she want to die? I grabbed her by the wrist, and I forced her to follow me, we went out of her classroom, and I was hanging with me all along. Again they were staring at me, and Himeko did not struggle, but she tried to follow my frantic running. We arrived to the board room; at least I was sure no one would come to disturb us.

"You said you won't tell anyone about yesterday. You are such a liar." The blonde tilted her head to the side as if she did not understand what I was referring to, and that annoyed me even more...

"What are you talking about? What happened yesterday?"

"Are you kidding me? It's your way to flee from your responsibilities; you really are a pathetic girl." I remarked, my words did not hurt her, or there was no impact.

"What? You really need to breathe. I did not do anything wrong." She said, and it was annoying me. Why she could not be honest?

"You tell everyone to the school that I was angry yesterday, that I broke my violin, and I injured myself. Did you still forget?"

"Oh…let me thing about it…ah! That? Are you fine? Does your hand still hurt?" Himeko took with attention my bandaged hand, and I stopped breathing. Her fingers gently caress my skin, it making me shiver, and I became increasingly nervous when I observed her long eyelashes, next her lips I removed furiously my hand.

"I did not say anything. I already forget it about yesterday, perhaps there was another problem, but this one is not my fault. If you could excuse me, I have to go." The blond said. I caught her wrist before she left. It was not the end. "Of course you did. Why everybody is watching like I was a freak!"

"I don't know, perhaps because you behave weirdly." Theses words made me crazy. I grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her violently against the wall. She did not seem to be afraid; I will show I was not her friend, but her enemy.

"Did you dare to say I'm weird?" I snapped. I remembered when she treated me like a freak…she could not bear to watch me. She was ashamed of me…she said I was a monster of nature…how could she have carry in her womb something like me?

I had just realized too late that I was in the arms of my enemy. She patted my head. Surprise, I pushed her away, and she banged her back against the wall. She did not even wince. She was still unmoved.

"Are you out of you mind! Why did you do that?"

"You seemed that you need it."

"That you hugged me? Never. If you do that again-"

"You will kill me?" She finished in a boring way.

"No, it will be too kind for you. I have other plan on my mind. I will destroy you."

"I don't care. Do what you want. I'm not afraid of you. You are just a coward. I am the good scapegoat, and you did not even want to learn more. I'm already guilty."

"You!" I had my hand up, I was going to slap her, but she grabbed me by the wrist, and it was her who turned me against the wall. I tried to free myself, but she was much stronger than I imagined. She approached her face against mine. I could not move. She was prettier than I imagined when she looked so serious…what I was thinking!

"Wow. You are not perfect as people said, or a kind and sophisticate princess but you are a superficial bitch who only cared about what people think, it's you who are pathetic, nobody will really love you for yourself if you continue this way. Also, it's you that makes me say things that I have not even said. Are you gonna to slap me? Go ahead. I am already guilty in your eyes. Although, even if I'm saying the truth, you will not believe me. So destroy me. I don't care." And she left me. My heart was beating furiously against my chest, and I fell on the floor. I needed to catch my breath, and I went outside, after a few minutes, Otoha ran in my direction. I did not need more drama.

 **"** Himemiya-sama…goodmornig…is it true that you have a brother?»

"What? My what?" I answered speechless. What was she talking about?

"Your brother, I don't know if it's true or not. Everyone is talking about it right now. He came early this morning; he asked everyone if they see you. Nobody mentioned you?" Was that why everyone was staring at me and whispering behind my back?

"Crap…Himeko…" I muttered.


	6. Chapter 6

**5 Bad day.**

 **PDV** **Himeko**

I returned to my classroom after my 'fight' with Chikane, I never imagined she was that kind of person, self-centered, very angry, and blind. I was not really disappointed about her behavior. At first, I supposed, no; I believed that she was like me…but I made a mistake, so it was my own fault to judge her this way. I was different, I was weirder than her. But now, I will stay away from her. I was tired with Chikane drama. It was not my fault if everybody's was watching her, she was popular, so it was her fault, she wanted that. I sighed and my classmate, Makoto called me, and talked to me with a happy voice:

"Oh my god! Himeko, since when you are close with Himemiya ? Are you two friend?" I noticed that everybody was looking at me. I hated to be the center of attention. That not happened often, if I did not count when I fall, but still it bother me. It as if I made something wrong.

"We are not close. We are just classmate, that all, and it will be the last time she will come here." Yes, she hated me, and she wanted me to disappear from her life and I did nothing wrong, she was totally paranoid…but I could not say it. Nobody will trust me, she was miss perfection, I saw her real face, and it was ugly. Nevertheless, the only thing I liked about her, it the way she played violin. I could hear her all the day. She was also beautiful, but appearance was not all.

"But she went to find you, she want to talk with you, alone. She never do that before, even with her friend Kisaragi. You are the first person, and some student said she held your hand." Just because she held my hand, everybody was crazy? What will happened if she kissed me on the cheek? I did not want to waste my time to think about it…

"It was nothing important, she was busy. Also, it was just a small talk between students, and about the student council." I did not want to tell the truth, contrary that the seito-kaichou thought, I won't talk behind her back. Even if she treated me badly and I did not deserve it.

"Oh, I was hoping you were friends, and she asked you to eat with her. And there was a secret relationship between you two." I simply shake my heard. That was impossible that I will be friend with Chikane, we were too different. And I will probably stop to go to the student council. I did not want to see her again. She will found another excuse to bully me.

"Makoto, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, except money, I don't have right now. I'm so poor…I want to buy that bag….we see few days ago on that shop…"

"I know, you almost tell me every day that you want it…No, I don't need your money. Yesterday, you said that you want me to go to your club ? Is it possible?"

"Yes, it's the basket-ball team, why? Aren't you already in the student council?"

"No, I'm not, I just visit the student council. I need a club."

"Okay! That's great! Even if you sucked in sport, that will be very funny." Saotome hugged me and called me a good girl. I just rolled my eyes. Yes, I was bad in sports. But I did not care, I did not want to see again the dark-haired woman.

* * *

It was the end of the day and the week, I finished school. And I only wanted to return to my dormitory. I had to call my parents, who lived in the countryside, they owned a farm near the village. For this reason, that I was not living at home, it would have taken me an hour and a half to go to school. And the trains were rare, I'd get home when it was school holidays. With my roommate Makoto, we return to our room. But we had noticed that there was a huge crowd in the school portal. My comrade observed me, mentally asking me what was happening. But I have no idea, I just want to go and relax. I went along and I saw a boy get out of the student crowd, he smiled, but seemed very exhausted.

"You need not accompany me, I am just searching someone. I'm fine. Don't worry about me." The boy was tall, with dark-haired, and brown eyes.

"We can wait with you. We have time." Some girls proposed but he did not appear please, the young man attracted all the attention of the ladies. As it was a private school for girls, when there was an handsome boy, there was a riot. And the young man seemed to be the new prey. I almost pitied him.

"Himeko…do you know him? I frowned and said no to my friend.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure, I never see him in my life, it's the first time. Why did you ask me that?" I growled already tired. I wanted to go to my dormitory…

"Well…he is looking at you…" I turned my head, and I noticed his eyes on my direction, I watched behind me, there was nobody.

"She is here!" The man said, and he smiled to me…crap…what's going on? Was he really know me? But I did not…I tried to remember, I never had a friend who was a boy…so I continued to walk, and the boy came to my direction, and suddenly hugged me. What the!

"Hey, are you crazy! Let me go!" I spat angrily. But he did not listen. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me directly to an angry and jealous crowd. He whispered to my ear:

"Please help me, they did not want to leave me alone."

"It's not my problem but yours!"

"I'm sorry, but I have no choice." He puts his hand to my mouth while I tried to get away from him, and he said to my great despair:

"My girlfriend is very jealous, she does not like me to be surrounded by pretty women, but I only love her, don't worry my love. You are the only one for me." I bite his hand and he removed from him, and I said:

"Are you out of your mind! I'm not your girlfriend!" He simply smiled.

"Oh love you are angry? Please don't be, forgive me. I will do everything." The students seemed to believe we had a relationship, and I was jealous.

"I'm not!" Yes, I was. I was not his toy. Today was not my day.

"What's going on here?" A voice that I preferred to never hear interrupt the moment. Chikane looked at me, and she was really pissed.

"Nothing, I'm always in the bad place…" I was going to go, but someone caught my arms, to my dismay, it was this boy and Chikane.


	7. Chapter 7

**6 Reaction.**

 **POV Himeko.**

I only wanted a quiet life, without bothering people, I simply wanted to finish my studies, and that was all. Then, I looked to my left, there was Chikane, the student who hated her the most, and to my right, there was this guy that I did not know his name, but he kind of bother me, pretending we were dating. I sighed when everybody glared at me, and whispered bad words. Yeah…I hated to be the center of attraction.

"Excuse me, but could both of you leave me alone? I'm busy, and I don't want to stay at school when it's over." I tried to asked politely even if some insults came to my mind, but inside I was burning with anger. What was this terrible situation? I never do something wrong in my life. So why me? Why now?

"Is he your boyfriend?" Himemiya asked me dryly, and it was certainly none of her business, not after the way she treated me, like a garbage. I was not her friend; she could not order me around.

"Yes." The fake boyfriend declared and I glared at him, he smiled and I rolled my eyes. Was he stupid? I crushed his foot, and he growled in pain.

"Shut up! No Chikane. He is not my boyfriend, but as if you believe me, I don't care about you or your opinion about me. I did not know why you are such a bother. You hate me, and you want to destroy me, so mind your own life. And you, the liar, if you are a coward to tell the truth to those girls, you are pathetic and not even a man." I escaped from both of their grip, and they still watching. I shook my head. They really looked like to each other, and I frowned. When they were looking at each other.

"Chikane…Himemiya?" The named intensively watched me. The hell was wrong with her!

"I don't know him! So don't ask me! It's your problem not mine!"

"Wow, you really look like our mother, a younger version, the same eyes, and hair, it's amazing. I'm sorry, I did not tell you who I am, I'm your brother, I'm Sōma Ōgami. Nice to meet you!" I turned my head, and I closed my eyes…I could feel the hatred from the brunette…why had I the feelings she will be…mad at me? And it was not my fault if she had a brother! I was not her mother! I did not want to participate to that weird story!

"Oh, from the start, you play with me, is it fun to make a fool of myself? That's the reason you to talk to me last time? You are with him? What do you want from me? Money? Humiliate me? Are you jealous? Because I'm more important and popular than you? It's you who are pathetic. Playing the nice girl, but in reality, you are not." She said to me. I did not want to hear more of her paranoia. I already had a headache.

"Fuck you! Both of you!" I answered without noticing, sorry but the words simply escape to my mouth. I cringed, normally I was not behaving this way, I never used these words. Chikane was shocked as her brother, and everyone, I just insult their 'princess', …I will be dead…on Monday…or now. I observed Makoto who agree with my idea, I counted one, two, three, and we ran.

* * *

 **POV Chikane.**

I watched Himeko to run away. Oh great, her boyfriend stayed with me, and he widely laughed :

"I really like this girl, she is so funny, cute and different. Next time, I will really try to date her."

"What? Aren't you two already a couple?" I snapped angrily. I did not understand why it annoyed me that the blond had a boyfriend, I felt use by her pretty smile and false kindness. He smiled and shook his head no, and I was speechless.

"No. It was a fake relationship; she was right. And you were awful with her. I only know her few minutes, but she gave me a good impression. And I'm sorry girls, Himeko was right, I use her to escape from you. I wanted so badly to see my sister alone, please could you let us?" The students pouted, and Ogami continued to smiled. The students decided to leave, and me too.

"Wait, Chikane!"

"Leave me alone. You made a mistake, you are not my brother, I don't have one."

"I know it's difficult to understand the situation, but our mother-" I stopped walking and I faced my interlocutor.

"Our mother? I'm sorry, but, no, I don't have a mother! She is dead for me. It was few years ago and I'm fine. You are nothing for me. I don't need her or you in my life. So stay away from me!" I shouted through my teeth. He jumped to my face, and I backed off.

"I just want to see you; I learn few days ago that I have a sister when we move out. I don't know what happen in the past, but our-…my mother is sick, she wants to see you, to apologize. She wants your forgiveness."

"No." I firmly answered. "I won't change my mind. Tell her that I accept her excuses, but there is no way I will see her. Her freak daughter is anymore an abused child; I won't obey like a dog. I won't be afraid if she hates me or she beat me. Even if she is sick, I won't never forget what kind of woman she really is." I walked toward my car, and I entered inside. I banged on numerous occasions the steering wheel, and I put my head above. I remembered when I had bad marks at school, that meant not the perfect score. My mo…that woman beat me, she said I was a monster and stupid, nobody will love me, I was not a real woman or man, it was our society, I was different. She could not see me without feeling shame to share her blood. So she was glad to have a real son, and not a mistake of nature like me…I remembered the day she left, she was with her lover, and listened to them, saying she hated her life, that she did not want to bring me with them.

After, I came to my sense, I realized I have done wrong with Himeko. I deserved to be call monster, stupid…my mother was right. I did not know why, but when it concerned Himeko, I behaved like a jerk…I lost my mind, I did not properly think. I needed to apologized, and I knew she won't accept my excuses. Two times I misunderstand her…I needed to found her, and to explain…but first, I had to search her address, and found a present…well, two…before seeing her.

 ** _Few minutes later._**

I asked a teacher where my classmate lived. I said to him it was about the student council. So, of course, he gave me the address, and the number of the dormitory. I faced the door, I hesitated to show my presence. In my hand, there was a chocolate cake, from a famous bakery, and I also had candies. They were very popular and expensive. I was nervous, but I decided to knock. It was now or never.

"Makoto, how many time do I have to tell you to keep your keys with you? Next time, I won't bother to open the door. You will sleep outside!" Himeko opened the door, she blinked when she saw me, I was probably the last person she wanted to see. And I noticed she was only wearing a towel around her, her naked body was covered with droplet of water, her breast was more…voluminous that I imagined…her hair was wet, with that hot picture in front of me, a certain part of my body reacted happily. Crap.


	8. Chapter 8

**8\. Sorry?**

 **POV Himeko.**

"Makoto, how many time do I have to tell you to keep your keys with you? Next time, I won't bother to open the door. You will sleep outside!" I remarked, it was the third time in two days. My roommate had her head in the clouds. On time, she forgot her pantie on the fridge…

"Hi…" When I noticed who was in front of me…not my roommate…I was…speechless… I wanted to scream and run away! Was I inside a horror movie? Because it was driving me crazy. My worst nightmare was here. She said she will destroy my life, well, she will certainly break my sanity. I breathed slowly and said:

"Chikane…I mean…Himemiya-sama. What the hell are you doing here! I'm sure I'm not to your house." I said in cold and distant manners. She seemed very nervous, and she could not look my eyes, or me. She looked around and put some of her bag in front her body. I arched a brow…she was weird…more than usual…that was not a surprise. I wanted to close the door, and eat something as if nothing happened, that will be rude, right? And I was kind of cold with only a towel around my body.

"Can I enter to your dorm? I need to talk more privately." She shyly asked me and I smiled politely.

"Of course…not. No way. It's better here. Speak. Is it about your brother? Do you accuse me of conspiring with him? Or perhaps, your dog is dead and it's my fault? No, I have an idea, you broke a nail, and you just want your revenge? Because it was my fault? All your suffering depends of me." I simply answered and she sighed, what did she hope? That I will bring some cookies and orange juice, and we will talk like best buddy? That not gonna happen.

"No, no. I know you did not do that."

"Really? I'm not sure…So…What do you want? You made my school life a Hell, and now, you want to continue when I'm free?"

"No. I'm sorry. I would like to apologize about my behavior. I was w-"

"Rude? An idiot, pathetic, and blind." I added, and she cringed at every words I pronounced but I was right, she did not deny it. She shook her head yes, and I frowned, was she sick? She did not insult me…was it a trap?

"Yes an idiot, and-"

"A bitch." I continued, she glared at me, and I did not care, I was not afraid of her, she knew it. The truth hurt, it was not my fault if she was not perfect. Maybe people said the contrary, but I won't lie. She pissed me off. It was a first for me to be so angry.

"What?! No…I mean yes…but…ok…I was also that and-"

"Stupid, rude, annoying."

"Ok, fine I'm everything you said. Happy?" She snapped angrily, and I closed the door. It was great…some silence. Did she have some issue with her head? Was she bipolar, depressive or insane? Because the way she behaved, it was totally absurd. It was not a way to apologize to someone, I won't accept, that was not honest.

"No I'm not happy. You are more. A spoiled brat who easily judge others and did not listen, and you are so self-centered. It's not a way to say I'm sorry. You are wrong, so you need to accept that I won't open my arms for you." I said, and she knocked the door and insisted; she would bother anyone from the dorm if she continued. Arrg! I was freezing my buttock. If I fell ill, it would be all her fault! Because I had a big heart and I did not want to be expelled from my dorm because of the noise, again I opened the door.

* * *

 **POV Chikane.**

I managed to calm down, it was not easy, but I won't give up. Himeko opened the door, and I gave her my presents before I forgot or I said anything. I made a lot of mistake, so I will change that for once. She was surprised, and she questioned me with her look, what was theses?

"I will try again." I tell more to myself.

"What you will try again? I don't understand. I never did with you" She asked and I licked my lips.

"My excuses. You right. It was very bad… I realize it. I'm not use to…do that." My interlocutor rolled her eyes.

"Yes, I notice that. You had no reason to be angry at me. I am the one who was abused. I did not do anything wrong. First you were angry because I helped you with your injured hand, next you accused me of a crime I did not commit, I spoke badly behind your back? It was so childish. And then you were rude with me when there was almost the whole school, and I have to accept your gifts and just forget because Miss Himemiya wants to feel better?" Ok, I never imagined she will act this way, no…I knew she will be furious. I deserved it.

"Also I don't like chocolate. It made me sick, is that what you want?" She gave me the packages, while I was ashamed.

"No! I promise! I did not know. I'm really sorry." I bowed, and I heard some voice, and I looked around, there was some students arrived in the area, I could not stay here, especially my erection was not entirely settled, and I did my best to push it back, but we could see it, or perhaps I was a bit paranoid. Afraid and with no escape, I do not pay attention to what I was doing, I introduced myself in the dormitory of the blonde, and I closed the door behind me, I slipped on water, and I fall into Himeko. She groaned in pain, as I realized she was not wearing her towel, and she was naked under me. My heart was racing fast, I did not know what to do, my member became very hard. She opened her eyes, and I was mesmerized by her green orbs. We were so close to each other. I gulped when I looked to her pink lips.

"Great! I'm so unlucky with you. What's wrong with you! It's the second time we are in that position. You pushed me in my own home!" She screeched, and she closed her eyes to calm herself. It was so bad.

"I…I'm so sorry.I did not do it on purpose."

"It does not reassure me at all that response. And what is that thing between us? It poking me." She asked, she grabbed handful my penis and she squeezed it, while I could contain a moan.


	9. Chapter 9

_I listened to your comments, you want it more...here the next chapter._

* * *

 **9\. Confession.**

 **PDV Himeko.**

I did not know why Chikane was moaning, but it was really sexy…I meant I was not use to hear that kind of noise from someone. I also moaned when her knee pressed strongly against my privacy and one of her hand pressed my left breast… ok…we were too much closer. She looked at me with fire, then I gulped. I perfectly knew that look. She was angry…again…headaches here we go…

She jumped like a cat that was splashed with cold water, and spat:

"How dare you to touch me like this! You pervert!" I blinked. Did I hear wrong? Pervert? Me? I stand up and took a breath.

"What! How did you call me!" I snapped. She glared at me and I was fed up with her bipolar personality. She was nice…well…few seconds…I was right, it was weird. She manipulated me, it was a trap. She never wanted to apologize.

"I said you are a pervert! Are you also deaf?"

"You have some nerves! You pushed me, next you make me fall, you touched my breast and my…lower private part, and you dare to say that I'm a pervert!" I growled, I took one of her cakes she gave me, and I threw to her direction, I added more and she screamed. She directly received one on her face, she looked ridiculous, the princess was not anymore one, I cannot help laughing. She threw some to my direction, I received between my breast. It was disgusted, I remove it but the chocolate and sugar stuck to my skin. Again, I needed a shower.

"Your…your towel! You Nudist!" I dryly laughed, she was not the one who will destroy me, I will kill her first if she continued this way! She could not look me in the eyes, her face was scarlet red

"You see. You are the pervert. We are both girls, and I'm at home. You are the intruder. And now, I want you to go away. I have enough with your bitchy attitude. I can't bear anymore."

"It's all your fault! You did it first! You touched my penis as if it was nothing wrong!" I frowned and she lost the color of her face. I watched between her legs. I saw a bump. I never notice until now. She hid it with both of her hands and she blushed. Did she say penis as…the reproductive male organ in Biology? That was _that_ I touched? Oh my! Why it was always happening to me?

* * *

 **PDV Chikane.**

"Penis? Did you say penis? Are you a man? You don't look like one…I don't understand…are you a transvestite or a transsexual?" The blond asked, there was no disgusted in her voice only curiosity, she did not shout to leave, she did not say I was a freak. I insulted myself for my mistake. How could I say it aloud! It was my dark secret and I simply tell to her. I could not stay any longer. I would not again see in someone's eye, disgust, contempt or pity. I had lived it throughout my youth, I would not go back.

I almost run to the door with tears and she said before I left:

"My aunt was a man." I stopped moving, shocked by her comment and she continued:

"I won't judge you or being disgusted because you are not a man or a woman, or both of them. I don't care if you have a penis or not. My aunt, Saya before Seito. He was born man. I really like him, and was funny and kind. He always smiled and laughed. He was a second father for me. But he tells me one day, he did not feel alright inside. He was hurt to be a man; I could look himself to a mirror, I found himself ugly and he was really handsome, tall, blond, blue eyes. Every day, he hates his own body as if he was abnormal. I tried to forget the want to be a woman. But he likes the clothes, the dress and jewelry, he loves them. His mother hates homosexual, and he knows she will hate him if he admitted he likes woman dresses. He was with a woman, but he simply forces himself. He did not want to be different or special, but like the others. One day, he said I could not live this way. And he tells me I will change his sex and leave the country where nobody knows him. His family, mine, reject him. But he is finally happy in the United States."

"Really? He is happy?" I asked with a sob. I could not believe to a happy ending. But my interlocutor smiled.

"Yes very happy. I know it's hard." I blushed when she said these words and she imitated my embarrassed state. Wrong word, it was awkward. "I did not mean your penis even if it was hard…oh crap…forget it, I know it's complicated, your situation." And she sneezed, she was shivering with cold, and she used her towel.

"Sorry. Could you wait for me? I need to change, or I will catch a cold. Also, I want to show you something important, and it's in my bedroom. Do you want to take a shower? I'm sorry for the cakes…" Kurusugawa winced in shame and I look at myself. Yeah…I needed to clean myself.

"You deserve it. And chocolate looks good on you." Himeko laughed and I pouted.

"I know I deserved it. And I'm very, very sorry, for everything…I misjudge you."

"If you are really sorry, you won't run away, and you will help me to clean the room. Okay?" I nodded with a smile and before she went to her bedroom, she said;

"You are pretty when you smile like this. I understand why you have so many admirers." And I blushed furiously.


	10. Chapter 10

**Normally I answer all the review, not for the previous chapter, I did not have internet during 3 weeks. Sorry.**

* * *

 **10\. Bad habit.**

 **POV Chikane.**

I was really nervous, who wouldn't be in my situation? I meant I was alone in Himeko's bedroom; I was sitting on her bed. I was waiting her presence. She gave me some of her clothes because she washed mine. So, I was wearing a long t-shirt and a pajama pant while my clothes were drying. I could smell her perfume. I looked around; there were some books, mangas, and a radio with a lot of C.D. The room was simple, the wall wad grey, there were some art and landscape posters. It was a beautiful bedroom, in mine there were a lot of books and the walls were white, but nothing special.

Curious, I watched the C.D.; it was essentially some American rock band. I never imagined she liked that kind of music, I smiled, she was very interesting and I returned to bed...the words were so wrong. It was my first time to someone else bedroom and place. I was not use to be a guest. To be honest, I did not know what the blond wanted to show me...here...

The latter entered with two bottles of water. My mouth became dry when I noticed what she was wearing. A simple blue t-shirt and a mini white short. She had a nice body. Her hair was tied in ponytail. Gosh...she was so sexy. She smiled widely at me and I melt like an ice cream on a sunny day.

"Chikane, do you want something to eat?" You I wanted to add, and I was ill-at-ease. What was wrong with me? Was it puberty time?

"No I'm fine, don't worry. Water is fine, I'm not really hungry." Himeko gave me a bottle, and she opened hers then she drank. It was me or it was really sensual? A drop of water slide to her mouth and escaped between her breasts. I wanted to be the bottle, no, the water she licked with the tip of her tongue. She looked at me and I turned in shame my head. I was not a horny teenager, even if I was a teenager girl with a crotch...

"I have...err...let me think...did Makoto go to the grocery yesterday? I'm not sure, she's so lazy but if she could go out with her boyfriend or having sex with him, she's always present...sometimes they made too much noise. That's why he can't be here anymore; I can't sleep at night. Great...I gave you too much information, because that situation makes me crazy." I loudly coughed my water when she talked about sex so freely. She came to my side, and hit slowly my back. To my greatness despair and pleasure, I had a nice view to her breast, I could see her tits...she didn't wear a bra? Gosh! My cheeks were on fire. And my little one appreciated everything. I was happy that I had a cushion to hide everything.

"Are you okay?" She asked me while I tried to smile as if nothing weird happened to my mind.

"I'm fine. Fine! Fine!" No I was not fine. And I added it three times. I totally looked crazy! It was so obvious...but she did not mind...

"Do you have an erection? You look tense...I mean your expression and body." She asked me and I coughed strongly. Before I said I will kill her but it seemed to be the opposite.

"NO! I-"

"I'm such a perverse, sorry. I know if you had one, it's normal, we study that in Biology. You can't control your body, as if you need to pee or cough...it's probably Makoto's fault, she only talk about sex, everyday...orgasm, masturbation..." She continued and I breathed with pain. Now, cold water will be perfect.

"Okay, as promise, I will show you something. Wait a moment, I had to found it." Himeko went to her desk. I saw her black lace underwear, she hid it and I blushed. She bent forward another nice view from another part of her body. Don't watch her buttock Himemiya-sama. Why am I calling me that horrible name? I hated it. Perhaps I was polite and with manners and the way I acted did not feat me.

"Do you...err...someone...know about your pe...particularity?" The blond asked me and I finally removed my eyes from her...lovely behind.

"Except my parents… and you... No. Why? You won't tell anyone?" I asked afraid.

"Of course not, I already tell you that your secret is safe with me. Hmm... so that's the reason...down there...that's you don't believe in love? And you behave totally crazy?" She continued, I pondered a moment; yes that was the main reason, not behaving like a crazy person. Who will accept a freak like me? I hardly accept myself.

"I-"

"Found it!" Himeko squealed happily. I almost laughed to her childish behavior. She sat next to me; I stopped breathing when she touched my tight. She will make my body completely crazy.

"Sorry to interrupt you all the time. I just wanted to show you this." The blonde gave me photography. I looked at the photography, and I saw a family, three persons. A beautiful blond woman with grey eyes, she was a tall and build man with a grey beard and blue eyes, and a little boy who was wearing a baseball cap and a red short.

"Who are they? Your family?"

"Yes they are. This woman was previously my uncle. The man next to him is her husband and between them, there is their son." I watched in awe the photography. They were a family? Really? They looked very happy. I never imagined that blond woman was a man...it was incredible. And I asked:

"They adopted the boy? And her husband knew she was a man?"

"Yes, of course. They meet online. They talked about everything. My uncle is American, his name is Dan. He loves women."

"So why he married your uncle...I mean aunt?" I demanded always so amazed about that incredible love story.

"My aunt said she want to go to United States to make her transformation. To...cut...her past? I'm not sure to use the right word. Nevertheless, her husband she met online, he knew she will be a woman; her heart is a woman, and now her body. Even her id said she was a woman. Also, he married my aunt because he loves her, there's no other reason. They are married since...six years and they still in love with each other. My aunt finds her soulmate, or the one she needs. Everybody can be happy; she is a good example." I could not contain a smile but it falters. I was not like that brave man...woman. I was a coward; I will never have a family or simply a woman who could love me as I was. That was impossible.

"Could...you...have a baby? I...err...mean...do you have fertile spermatozoid? Can you make a woman pregnant?"

"No. I can't. I made examination, that's not possible."

"Oh I'm sorry...perhaps you prefer men? I don't know...like my aunt you could adopt?" I hated that conversation. I did not know myself, do I want a child? I was not sure. I was a lesbian, I loved woman...I was never attracted to men. Could I say it to Himeko? She will not freak out? I really like her; I did not want she run away.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said in a cold voice.


	11. Chapter 11

**11\. Break up.**

 **POV Himeko.**

I sighed; again, the ice queen was back. It was annoying. I knew...no, I did not. She probably felt she was a freak, different. My words will only make her angrier if I was trying to be nice with her. So I kept my aunt's letter in my pocket.

"Ok. I won't add more. Would you stay with me tonight? We could buy a pizza or Chinese food if you prefer?" She looked at me with a shocking face; I did not understand her reaction. It was not I ask her to spend the night at home or to my bed. Yes, we weren't friend...that's why she was speechless. It hurt a bit, but it was already over. "Well...if you are not interested to stay and you finished with yours apologize, you can go to your home, you know where the exit is, it's easy just behind that door. Meanwhile I will watch the T.V." I remarked, she was silent and I frowned. Damn, I did not want to understand what happened in her mind, it already gave me a headache.

"I won't be a bother if I stay? Your roommate...she won't be annoyed if she sees me?" The brunette asked with a low voice, she looked her fingers. I was surprised, I never imagine that person to be so shy...she spat, she insulted me, and she was very cold...now there was another person. Two personalities. Nice Chikane ? Bad Chikane? It was like playing with a coin.

"Are you Gemini? No, never mind, she is with her boyfriend. She will spend the night with him. The morning she went directly to the school."

"And I won't bother you?" She blushed and I pondered a moment.

"To be honest, I'm not a great company, I normally don't talk a lot, I don't really like people, I like to be alone but you don't seem bad. Nevertheless, if you piss me off or you behave like a drama queen, I will beat the crap of you. I'm not afraid of you." I seriously warned, she was speechless and I laughed.

 **POV Chikane.**

I opened my eyes, my back hurt as bad as my neck. I noticed something...or could I say...a warm...I realized someone was hugging me. My head was between some...breast...I wanted to jump and scream, but I remembered that I spent the night with Himeko. We ate pepperoni pizza, mine was with vegetable, it was the first time in my life I ate pizza. I drunk a soda...it was also my first time. I never had a friend with who I talked about anything, about my real me. We watched a romantic movie, not my type but we laughed because it was too much cliché wen play the characters in our own ways, it was very funny. I usually did not watch T.V. or went to a cinema. The night was simple and really good. I heard a noise, surprised; there was someone else in the room. Himeko's roommate: Makoto. I stopped breathing. She frowned. She will certainly have misunderstood the situation…

"That's not what you think..." I tried and she still looked at me with a questioning look.

"Yes...that's not what I think. I had no problem with two women having fun if it's not in my own bed but the sofa..." I realized that my hands were on Himeko's buttock. I instantly remove them and she rolled to her side and she fall to the floor. Oh sh*t!

"Himeko!" I called her name as her friend; she groaned in pain, I felt guilty. Did she hurt herself?

"What happened...where am I? Chikane-chan? Did you just push me? Are you crazy! I will never let you sleep over to my dormitory! Arg…my back is hurting…" She moaned with burning eyes. I nervously coughed.

"Sorry I did not do in purpose."

"I hope so…or you are really a b*tch…"

"Hey! I said I'm sorry!"

"Like every time!" The blond added and I glared at her.

"Stop arguing the couple I already had some problem with my boyfriend. Your girlfriend was surprised to see me and me too. I never imagined you were so close, that's why you ask me to not come at home." The chestnut haired girl said and I was speechless, are they both so carefree? I was not used to.

"She's not my girlfriend! We don't have that kind of relationship! Never! I have some taste!" I snapped with a blush.

"Yes I agree everything with the ice queen." Himeko lazy sat on my lap and I was burning everywhere. Why did she sit here!? She was the one who are complete crazy!

"What are you doing!" I whispered, I wanted to push her and she answered back.

"Don't dare to make me fall or my friend will see your healthy penis and I won't help you anymore with your secret. It will be your fault, not mine as always." And I noticed that I had a morning erection...great! Yes, she was right, my crotch was never so healthy. Did the blond tried to hide it? I felt grateful.

"We are not close. Girlfriend? We are not even friend. She stayed at home because she wanted to apologize to her bad behavior. I let her stay to eat a pizza and to watch a movie and we fall asleep because it was already late and we needed to finish our fight. That's all." I was sure Makoto won't believe her words.

"Really. Yes, that's seems possible, you are not the kind of person who lied. I'm hungry. I will eat something. Himeko. Do you want an orange juice?" The latter said yes and her roommate simply go. I was speechless, it was so easy? Really?

"Ok, if you want to go home, you can. I will take a shower."

"Himeko, thank you." I said. She looked at me and shook her head.

"You have to stop, it's annoying. It's better if we separate our way right now. As if we are simply classmate. It's better." I could not say anything. I understood why she tried to distance herself from me but…inside…I was very sad…I thought I found someone…different…who won't judge me…I was wrong…again I was alone.

"You…are right…" I tried to smile.


	12. Chapter 12

_A Christmas gift, don't forget to give me some in exchange perhaps another present for the new year?_

* * *

 ** _12\. Hurt._**

* * *

 **POV** **Himeko**

« Since when you are so close to our princess? And she was to our dorm and wearing your clothes, it was so strange to see her this way. » I lazily looked to my roommate, we were walking to our school. I sighed, she was too curious, one hour she interrogated me, I knew she will ask a lot of questions when Chikane won't be with us. I was so tired to explain for something like this.

"What do you mean "this way?" I asked even if I did not really care about her point of view, gossip was not very interesting. I wanted to listen to music but I forget my headphone was broken.

"I don't know how I could I explain it…she was...normal?"

"Normal? Of course she is normal."

"No, she is not. She's different from us. First her family background, she is very, very, very wealthy. She could buy our city and if she wants." I rolled my eyes.

"Money can't buy everything."

"Yes, but it can provide a good life. She is rich, pretty, and clever. Do you know she could play violin, piano? She's very good in sport like tennis, basket and more. Her marks are almost perfect. She is the top student. She is very popular, a lot of girls and boys confessed to her." I was not very surprised. She helped me with my own situation.

"Yes, she is perfect outside but that not entirely true. Inside it's such a mess. It's sad." I whispered. Makoto looked at me when I talked to myself and I simply shrugged. "Well it's not our problem, yesterday it was yesterday. Today it's a normal day."

"I'm not sure about it. Some people did not forget." My friend said when she showed me the gate. I noticed a group of students. They were chatting and when they saw us, they glared at us…or more precisely me. Great, why I felt it will be a bad day? If I walked without looking at them, they won't bother me, right?

I lowered my head and almost run but a wall almost make me fall. Yes, you probably knew what happened.

"You are that girl who mistreat our Himemiya-sama?"

"Who?" I pondered, the name was familiar but I could not add a head, it seemed my question made furious my enemies. I gulped. Finally found the name.

"Chikane? Ah, yes, there is no more problem between us. There were simply a misunderstand-" I could not finish my sentence that I was pushed to the floor.

"Don't call her that way, you don't deserve the honor."

"The honor? That's sound so stupid." I laughed.

"You bitch, I will kill you!"

"Oh! Girls calm down, yesterday my friend was tired, she apologized to Himemiya when she was to our dorm, and it's over." Makoto tried to help me but that was not the effect she wished, she was always tossed. The students were really angry, I glared at her. She paled and muttered a sorry. Sorry, I did not care.

"Himemiya was to your dorm? How dare you!" I got up, one of that girl tried to slap me. I firmly caught her forearm, she was furious but I did not let her running away. It was me or them. I raise her above my shoulder, and I made her fall to the floor. Everybody was quiet. My peaceful life where were you?

"She is black belt in karate. It's easy for her to kick your sorry ass. And she was nice, at her dojo we named her crazy dog." My friend warned. The students seemed to think twice before trying to attack me. They ran away and I blew the air in my lungs. I hated to do that.

"I'm not even a black belt. I just practice few months ago. And crazy dog? Are out of your mind? Nobody call me that name!"

"But they did not know. And you see that's work my lie. You should be grateful."

"Grateful, yeah, no. Next time, don't talk." I heard an applaud. I turned to see who was there and to my greatness displeasure it was that guy from yesterday. Chikane's half-brother, I did not remember his name. Okami?

"Wow, you were so cool. I never imagine that a girl like you, you look like so shy and weak that could be so strong. I never meet someone like you, I really like you. Do you want to date me?"

"No." I simply answered. I went to my school as if nothing important happened. I realized everybody was watching me and they talked to my back. I hated that situation, it made me thing about my past. I continued my way and I was in the garden. I had no idea why I come here, I needed to breath. I disliked to be the center of the attention. I sat on the grass, the bell will ring soon.

"I don't want to see you! Leave me the hell alone! We are nothing to each other. I won't accept to be in the same room with you." I recognized the voice, for one the harsh words were not for me. I did not know what to do, I got up I saw the blunette with a mild-aged woman. She had short blue hair, grey eyes. I could not deny she was pretty and familiar to someone…to my comrade. Wait, was it Chikane's mother, that's why her brother was there…

"You have no choice, I will stay here. I have a job, I won't go away for you."

"Me? You did not change, selfish as usual. You already did in the past, you abandon me. I don't care! I won't stay to that school with a monster like you! There is no way I will call you a mother! Stop pretending to be nice with me, I know you hate what I am." A slap crossed Chikane's face. I almost made my present visible. I hide behind a tree. What can I do? I was so unlucky. Thrice, I witnessed the blunette's most vulnerable moments, if she noticed me…no I preferred to not think about it. I had to escape from this nightmare.


	13. Chapter 13

I'm sure you will be very happy. Happy New Year everybody.

* * *

 ** _13\. Let me love you._**

 **POV** **Himeko**

"How dare you to call me a monster? Don't you forget who is the real monster? You are not even a woman or a man, such a shame who the craziest person would accept to marry you? And my grandchildren what if they became like you? I have only one normal child. You already see him, he is nothing like you. He is handsome, clever, perfect, a real man, you already saw him, you can't compare to him. I was afraid I have some problem but it's you who are abnormal." I could run away when I heard those terrible words, how a mother could say that to its own child? I come back even if I knew from the start it was not a good idea. Chikane will be upset…and she will make me pay, why me?

"Chikane! Ah, you are here! I was searching you!" I said, the latter tried her best to not cry, it broke my heart. This old hag, I glared at her and she seemed ill-at-ease. She was probably asking herself if I listen to their conversation. I politely smiled and she frowned.

"Since when you are here?" _Do I have to lie or not?_

"Few seconds? Why? Is there a problem? Did I interrupt something important? My mistake, I'm so sorry." I could be an actress, the words simply slipped from my mouth, I even believed my lies and this person too.

"Who are you? Don't glare me this way, I'm an adult and your teacher, you need to respect me, I have a conversation with one of my students." An adult and teacher? Bullshit. What happened to the world? I understood why Chikane was so cold and distant with that kind of mother.

"I'm sorry madam. Our teacher needs to see Chikane, it was very important. It was about study session or something like that, I'm not sure."

"Well he has to wait, I did not finish. I have an important matter to discuss with her." As if I will let you continue to bother your daughter evil witch. I will insist.

"As you wish, he said he will come after me, soon he will be there. Tell him I go to my classroom, it's almost time." The woman bite her lip, she watched the time and after her daughter, the latter did not dare to look at us. She was totally lost our eyes met I only noticed emptiness.

"I will go. But we will finish that conversation later." The person left, I sighed, I knew it was not over; I heard a cold laugh and the brunette firmly grabbed my collar. I expected that movement, I let her bully me. It was not the first time. Again, I witnessed her weakness, she was someone proud, I just realized my mistake but I will accept the consequence. I was not afraid.

"I know you hear everything! Don't dare to lie!"

"I won't." I exclaimed. She was surprised but instead shook her head.

"Why did you help me! I don't ask you! Mind your own business! Did not you say this morning that we are nothing to each other!" Chikane angrily spat. Why was I not even surprise about her mean behavior? I did not ask a thank you or something like that. But she was right, it was not my business. I looked at her, she turned her to the side and lightly pushed me back.

"I apologies, I made a terrible mistake." I bowed.

"Are you making fun of me? Am I so pathetic to your eyes? Do you pity me when you discover my dark secrets? I'm abnormal, you see my mother and the way she treated me, now you want to help me? Why? Why!" She angrily shouted. I looked at her, she did not move, she seemed to think.

"Why are you so nice with me? We are stranger, we are not even friends or schoolmate." She was aggressive, like a hurt animal. I walked to her direction and I pat her head like my father did when I was sad.

"Yes, that's true, we are not really friends or something else, but I don't know, we always met each other. Also, I never pity you. And about your darks secrets, I don't consider them dark, everybody has some weakness, even me. I don't mind them. I already promised you I won't tell anyone. It was hard for you to live this way all this time, to not have someone who don't care about your name but only you or to share your scars, I'm sure with the time you will find your special person, you deserve it. Don't listen to that woman she knew nothing about you. Even if you are kind of scary when you are angry, I see the nice person inside that wall. You are really pretty when you smile and you laugh, perhaps I am the only person you show that real you but if you act this way with the others, you will be more popular and not because you are the school's princess but because you are beautiful and with a good heart." She froze and she step back, she lightly touched the spot of her head that I pat.

"What? What do you from me!"

"Nothing. I will go, the class will start soon." I honestly answered when I watched the time.

"Everybody want something from me, you are not an exception. Some want I help with their studies, others want I talk to my father about their parents or they simply want to be show with me." I look at her and she glared at me. I took my bag.

"I want nothing from you. Money, name, help with school or business, it's so tiresome. I want a simply life that's all. I don't need more, I will gain everything with my own abilities. I want to be proud of myself."

"Do you think it's over? That's I will let you go so easily?" She asked. I sighed.

"No. I suppose not." She nervously bit her lips.

"Do you also think I am a monster because I'm not born entirely a man or a woman?"

"No." I shrugged and she winced.

"Why are you so different from others…I hate it."

"Yes, you hate me. I already know it." I scoffed with a tired voice. I already knew she disliked me…

"No, I hate to feel **_that_**."

"That? That what?" I frowned and she reached me. I could not say pathetic or vulnerable, she will strangle me to death so I did not add more. I waited a slap or some insult or threats.

"But I love it…" I did not understand what she meant. I was utterly lost.

"You love what? Could you talk the same language than mine? It will be great." I dared to say. She smiled, a real smile.

"I think…no, I know I fell in love of you." And she kissed me.


	14. Chapter 14

_14\. I'm sorry._

 **POV** **Chikane**

First the time in my life, I did not think about the consequence of my behavior, for once I did what I really want. I was weird to act so freely without carrying about everything. I kissed Himeko because I loved her, it was my first kiss, I did not wat to do, I just caress her lips against mine. Why her? She was very different, yes strange but she was kind and…she shone like a sun. Her light was strong and warm that's almost blind me, I wanted to watched even if I had to lose my sight. Even if she honestly said what was in her mind, it was refreshing, I was not use with emotions and feelings, it was a foreign word.

Love… except from my father I never received to somebody else, when some students confess their feelings for me, it was like an illusion. They loved a person that never exist, perfect, proud without any flaws. I was not like that, I was shy, I hated that people talk behind my back that they called me a princess. I was not a princess, I did not deserve that title, I was only Chikane.

Because my father had money, people only cared about power and reputation. And I become what they expected from me. And she arrived in my life, she did not care about my name or money. She called my name and not Himemiya-sama. Chikane…I almost forgot it was my own name…and the blond reminded me I was human, that why I was angry against her, against myself. I wanted to be normal, to have a friend, a lover, to care about someone but I could not have any of these normal things. I stepped back, I realized I really kissed Himeko, my heart pounded furiously and I blushed. I had to apologize even if I was not sorry at all.

"I-'

"I'm sorry." She said and my heart broke in piece. I needed to tell her it was a mistake but not for me, I had to lie like I used to do but something change.

"I can't accept your feelings." She continued and I wanted to contain my tears, it hurt so bad to be reject…again…

"Why?" I closed my eyes when my voice shivered. I was ashamed of myself. How could I be devastated? She was a stranger! I lost my mind, that all, she helped with my mother and I was fragile.

"Why? Because I'm not normal? Or I'm rich? Or the princess or you simply hate me?" I firmly asked, she looked at me, she did not try to hide or to escape my questions. I hated! She did not pity me, she was not afraid of me, she looked at me as I was her equal.

"I'm not the person you need. You said you are abnormal but it's me who are weird." I frowned, I did not understand her words, did she play a game with me? Do I have to guess what was in her mind?

"What do you mean you are weird? Are you sick…or is there a problem with your body? Don't tell me you are a man and you look like a girl, even if it was the case, I don't care." I was telling the truth, if Himeko was a man, I still accept her. She sadly smiled and I breathed in pain.

"No, I'm a woman. I preferred to be like you than myself. I will be honest with you, you tell me your secret, I suppose it's normal to tell mine. I…do you remember that I have to reject someone, I asked your help because I think you were like me." I shook my head and she continued. "Chikane I can't accept your feelings or someone else because I can't let the other to suffer because of me."

"Suffer?" The blond sighed and she came closer to me, I stopped breathing when her face was in front of me. I nervously licked my lips when I noticed hers.

"Yes suffer, you had some need, I understand that. Everybody…had need…kisses are not always enough, I know that."

"You mean…need…that sort…of need." I gulped hard when she said it without shame.

"Sex, yes."

"I did not say I want sex with you. I said I'm in love with you. I mean…yes you are attractive, but I'm not ready to have…I, gosh…I have some issues to accept my body…not that…about the size or something like that…it's more than normal…I did not need to add that part…Ok, forget it. I'm not sure to be ready one day…I mean…to have sex...just talking about it…arg…I do not want to make you running away…" A finger softly touched my lips.

"I know, still, I can't be with you. You deserve to be with someone who will give you what you need."

"I say I did not need sex." I almost pouted, I was not a child, I knew what I want…I supposed…

"But you need to be loved and most of the relationship, after there is sex. I'm not the one for you." I growled, I was fed up with her words. Normally she was direct.

"Tell me you don't like me, I will leave you the hell alone."

"You don't get it. Ok, I will tell you why it's impossible for me to be with someone. I'm asexual. I can't love you." She said and the door bell rung.


	15. Chapter 15

_Ok…when I read again the chapter I was…what happened to my head to write that xD._

* * *

 _15\. I won't give up._

 **POV Himeko**

I did not really watch Chikane reaction when I tell her about…my particularly… I meant, I knew she will be upset. It was the first I openly told my secret. Usually, I said, I'm not interested in someone and that's all but this time I could not escape from the truth. I will go to my class when she said:

"I'm glad." I frowned, what did she said? I turn back and she smiled widely. Did she lose her mind? Miss imperfection could not bear my words and voilà, I broke her…was it too much for her?

"You are glad because…I can't love you? Ok…great!"

"No silly. I'm glad because you did not reject me." I was speechless, I did not reject her? What?! So, what did I do until now? I could not accept her love for me…I told her that won't happen…because I'm asexual…did I miss something?

"What? Do you understand what's mean to be asexual? You seemed to be a clever young woman, perhaps am I wrong? I don't feel attraction or desire for someone!" The bluette laughed and I was very pissed. She was very annoying. I did not care why she behaved this way, I will simply forget and go study.

"You did not say you don't love me or you despite me, you say you are asexual, that's not an excuse to let you go, it doesn't mean I don't have luck to seduce you. And to be honest, I'm not sure how to seduce you, you different from the others, if I smile you won't bother...even if you said I have a beautiful smile…" She slightly blushed and I closed my eyes, yes, I made that mistake to tell her that, there was no meaning behind those words. Himeko don't lose your mind. Don't lose your mind! Perhaps it was her revenge?

"But that doesn't mean I won't try. For once, I will do what I really want. I won't think about the consequence. I want to be with you. I will show you feelings and needs are not important in our case, being together, to care is enough." I blinked when she slowly approached me. Her face was just few centimeters of mine.

"I could try to make fall in love in me or to like me a bit, I don't ask more that you stay beside me." This time, I laughed. She was crazy. Nobody succeeded.

"You don't need to bother, I'm fine this way, I don't want you to make lost your precious time." She stared at me, she gently caught my hand and I froze when I touched her breast, I tried to remove it but she did not let me escape.

"Chikane…let me…go! Or I will squeeze it like a lemon!" I seriously warned and she laughed.

"Do it if you want." She smirked and I lost my patience.

"Er…you start to scare me…I don't want to have this kind of kinky relationship with you…that's so weird just saying it…"

"Do you fell it?" I was looking down, yes, I noticed something big.

"Not there you baka!" She shouted with a red face.

"Could you stop with 'I am stupid'."

"Where is your left hand?"

"In your breast? Well…of course…my hand is…there…and I wanted it back…soon…now!"

"No, my heart. It was the first time in my life it beat so loudly, I'm so afraid…but I feel so alive. It's because of you Himeko, I'm alive because of you. There is no way I will give up because you are asexual, I know you are my soulmate."

"Aaaah? Soulmate? Damn…I'm with a psycho with romance. What is wrong with you? We only meet few times and you…oh… my head…will burst if you continue. You don't understand, I can't love you. When you kiss me, I felt nothing! Nothing! It was my first kiss and there was nothing special. No firework and burning sensation in my stomach. When I touch your breast, it just annoying because it's bigger than mine, I'm jealous."

"Your breast is perfect for me, not small or too big." I growled.

"Your heart beats fast, so what? I must take the responsibility? What a bunch of nonsense."

"I'm your first kiss?" Her face lit up and mine decomposed. She only heard what she wanted. I noticed that...few days ago..."You are mine too. I will take the responsibility to love you. You will see, before I was like you. Idid not want to be loved. But it's a good sensation, I want to share with you that moment. I won't give up." I removed my hand and sighed. She was such a bother. I noticed when she hated me and now she loved me, what kind of drama I was.

"Ok, do what you want Himemiya-sama. I don't care." I pouted, there is no way I will continue that conversation, I was already late and tired.

"You are so cute." My classmate hugged me and I did not move. I took a deep breath. She was too close to my taste.

"No hug." She let me go and she kissed me on the cheek. I clenched my fist. If I punched her, it will be bad? No…yes…

"No kiss."

"Okay, as you wish."

"I think you are blind and stupid." I spat upset.

"I always heard to be in love make someone blind and stupid but I'm happy." I rolled my eyes when I looked at Chikane, she looked like a puppy who wiggle her tail.

"Yes, yeah, whatever. I need to go, I'm late."

"When did you finish your lesson?"

"If I do not have issue with my teacher, as usual 15 p.m. Why?"

"It's a surprise!" Gosh…now, I had a stalker! I will run away through the windows when school finished.


End file.
